Mindfulness is defined as the practice of being aware in the present moment, without judgment. The term mindfulness is often used synonymously with meditation, which is technically incorrect. Mindfulness can be practiced as a form of meditation (there are many forms) and/or anytime we are aware in the present moment. Mindfulness is not simply about relaxation (although relaxation can be a byproduct); it’s more about inner curiosity.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy was developed by Richard Schwartz and conceptualizes the human personality/psyche as being composed of distinct, yet interrelated parts. The parts are categorized as Managers, Exiles, Firefighters, and Self. They are described as the following:
• Managers are proactive protectors that attempt to stay in control to avoid feeling insecurity, rejection, and pain. They include parts such as planner, striver, caregiver, overfunctioner, judge of self and others, and hypervigilance
• Exiles hold disowned/denied, painful emotions and memories such as trauma, shame, dependency, grief, rage, fear, loneliness; they get frantic if ignored
• Firefighters are reactive protectors that attempt to repress emerging exiles through methods such as avoidance/distraction, addictions, binge eating, self-harm, dissociation, numbing
• The Self is our Wise mind, Real Self. It is the center of each person; it leads with wisdom and compassion and exudes calmness, curiosity, confidence, creativity, connectedness, courage, clarity
I utilize mindfulness and IFS with many of my therapy and executive coaching clients. One way is to have clients utilize mindfulness to nonreactively get to know their parts and the roles they are playing in their lives.
Specifically, I use is a body scan that combines progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, and parts check-in. I ask clients to center their focus on their bodies and invite their parts to speak to them, with particular emphasis on anxious parts/feelings. The parts should be welcomed with curiosity and compassion. All parts are trying to help us, even frantic ones. After encouraging their parts to share, clients should return to gratitude and the present moment leadership of their core Self.
By engaging in this practice regularly, we can increase our intentionality and decrease our reactivity in various aspects of our lives, including work/leadership and personal relationships.